What is your daily motivation and does it work?

I am currently studing in class 12th and I don't motivate from only single thing.

I think about my parents sacrifices and dream to make them happy.

At the end I just pick mobile and waste some time and then go to school.

My younger brother want to asks doubt about study but he can't cause he thinks I am studying .

At 9 pm i sleep with teary eyes with unfulfilled goals and sad heart,😞{I am literally crying while writing answer}

I see my parents woke up early from me .

my mom want to do urgent call but she can't do cause she thinks I am studying on mobile(i use my mom mobile) .

After coming back home I started to scrolling on YouTube and then I realise that time is 7 pm and I done nothing and I become sad.

I woke up early with dream of IIT.

So for removing this sadness I again started scrolling and eat food.

Is this motivation works let's see

This cycle keep going in my life

But I become depressed when

I realise I am too lazy and cant woke up early.

But after knowing this whole things I can't study and waste my time on mobile but I don't know why